To Drift Upon A Cloud

I cannot fly.  I do not have wings.  Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to float, hover, glide or rocket across the sky. 

Common Tern

If I were a tern, I could do all of these things.

Black Tern

I would wear the mask of the Cedar Waxwing to simulate the goggles worn by old fighter plane pilots. 

Cedar Waxwing

 At times I would need to float on water or stop on a twig to rest. But I am not a bird.  Just a person who likes to dream. 

Black Scoter-female

So instead we found ourselves carried by mechanical wings. As the desert faded into the sunset, we drifted among the clouds. An adventure. 

When the mechanical bird landed to rest, we found ourselves surrounded by an emerald forest that went on as far as our eyes could see. 

Not long after, we met up with the ocean and her cool breezes.  It was also here I met up with my birding partner and friend in crime, Kathie.  Together we would cover some ground in the state of Maine.

What would we discover?  Our adventures begin. 

Deeper Than The Moment

The Bonaparte's Gull

In many ways, I have battled in this life with those social demons of societal "norms". My struggles and adventures have been shared with a few friends, but in all my years, I have done most of it alone and from the heart. No one made the rules for me because there weren't any.  People tried to give me their set of rules but they were based on fear and hurting others who were "different". Today it's much easier for our youth outside those "norms" to seek the help and advice they need.  And so allowing people into my life has always been a guarded and sacred thing.....for true emotion is not to be wasted on those who are careless and undeserving of the heart.

Friendships are made and kept over this life of mine because they are meaningful to me.  Even if we've all changed over time, I still treasure those bonds we created years ago. Friends, true friends, are much harder to find. They are like extended family.  People you can trust with your secrets.  They don't judge you, but they'll tell you the truth.  So while we may not always agree; we have respect for one another.

I am so lucky to have my other half Pat with me on this journey.  Pat has been my anchor during the good times and bad. But mostly they are wonderful.  So it wasn't like I was looking to develop another friend attachment.  All of it was quite accidental really. 

My life has changed now in a direction I least expected.  If you would have told me 10 or 20 years ago that I was to become a birder, I would have laughed.  Today I stand here at the edge of my own world spreading my wings because of my dear friend Kathie. There is no turning back now.  Every moment and experience has led me to this point in my life.  I must see the vanishing world.  I must see as much as I can before I die....or before it's gone.

Lewis's Woodpecker

I have found most of the common birds in Arizona and have discovered that my eyes are now digging hungrily deeper into the grasses and forests....uncovering even more birds that I had not seen before. Kathie and I have been a team for over a year.  And like any team working together with so much practice, we've become a dynamic duo.  We've honed in on our skills and learned to work like detectives finding elusive and hard to find birds.  And because of our love for birds and nature, we've put in many hundreds, if not a thousand or so, hours of field work together.

Broad-billed Hummingbird

People ask us if we have spouses.  Yes we do.  They join in on the fun when we're not birding together. But that doesn't stop us from texting or facebooking our latest finds while on the road away from each other.  Because of this constant communication, I found that I was developing that human bond known as friendship.

A nesting male Elegant Trogon

And now it's time for us to say good-bye.  When she first told me the news that they were leaving for the east coast, I had a human physical reaction known as crying:(  Like all friends and loved ones in life, they come and go. They are here and then they are gone....sometimes forever.  She taught me the protocols for being an excellent birder. Then she became my friend.  We can say that things won't change, but they do.  They have to change in order for us to grow.  And when she told me that they would be leaving very soon, I wasn't ready for the emotional meltdown that followed.  I hate human emotions. I especially hate expressing any emotion in front of people for I am a proud Scorpio.  If you have friends who are Scorpios, remember to give them shocking news by note or a text so that they can process their emotions in a quiet corner of the world away from people:)  I knew she'd be moving at some point (because that has been her life).  I just didn't think she'd be moving so quickly!

At Pinetop

But how does one go back to the same spaces and not think about the past?  A bittersweet thought. We've walked the canyons searching for the Elegant Trogon.  When we found him, we shared that special moment in silence under the dark skies of the dry river bed.  When we explored the rugged Box Canyon, the tire blew out and we changed it together making a stressful situation less....stressful.  At Florida Canyon, Kathie and I climbed a nasty rock spot where I blocked her from falling further down that terrible rock face. We climbed into the dark trees of Miller Canyon where Kathie found her first Mexican Spotted Owls. And we discovered that she was better at listening to directions than I was:) We spent a brief weekend camping up on Pinetop skirting a threatening and angry storm. Then we dodged falling rocks along the canyon walls as we hauled tail back to Tucson only to discover a magical space along the way near Winkelman called Christmas.  We watched thousands of Sandhill Cranes fly around us at the Whitewater Draw in the freezing temps. How do I go back to these places alone without thinking about those incredible times? So many incredible memories.

So when we stood one last time at the Whitewater Draw together watching the cranes call and fly around us, I couldn't think about the birds.  All I thought about was how much I'd miss my friend and how I'd miss sharing those epic moments together.  Change is exciting but saying good-bye is never easy.  And it will take time to adapt to her absence. But for now, in the way only a birder can do, I dedicate the Green-tailed Towhee as our official friendship bird.  It was the first incredibly strange bird I found with Kathie while on our first ever trek into Agua Caliente park.  Every time I see this bird on my walks, I will always think of that first awe inspiring moment with Kathie.

The Green-tailed Towhee

We'll bird again someday, but for now, I'm going to miss you....a lot.  Thank you for taking the time to show me what it is to be a good birder.  And thank you for your friendship. We've had the most amazing times and adventures.

Life's Unexpected Surprises

The Mexican Spotted Owl was one of my first "target"birds. 

Since June of 2011, after my trip to Panama, I began "bird photography".  I climbed mountains and wandered canyons alone.  I had considered myself a photographer and gardener first.  I still do, but something incredible happened on September 9th of 2012.  It would change the direction of my focus and broaden my views about the world.  For it was on this day, I met Ms. Kathie Brown.  It was also on this day that I would embrace the label "birder".

Saguaro National Park

We decided to meet at Agua Caliente park. She said that we were going to "bird" and I said, "Ok." I wasn't really a true birder at that point as I was still in denial.  Birders were weird people that I didn't really understand.  That's why I did everything alone.  I didn't want to be categorized.

Discovering the international world of birding.  I hired a private shrimp boat to get to Bird Island off the Rocky Point coast in Mexico. 

It was a lonely place.  I would take treks to islands, canyons, and mountains alone.  And I would become excited about discovering new areas and new birds without being able to share it with a friend.  My other half Pat likes the "cooler" birds but like many of our spouses, they are not birders. I have always been a globe trekker and love to travel! There is this insane curiosity to know more.  

Great Horned Owl

Agua Caliente was a park I had known well.  I went there in the past to look for Cedar Waxwings and discovered not only those masked bandits but a Sora and Northern Beardless-Tyrannulet.  Little did I know but I had discovered some incredible birds without even realizing it.  I took pics never thinking anything more of it.

Northern Beardless Tyrannulet

I had no idea that there were other people out there who shared my same love for nature. Well I knew they were out there, but how could I meet them? People share many things together like football, running, etc.  When I told people I saw a Cedar Waxwing, they just looked at me weird....like "great".   I would later find out that my brother Adam discovered a Cedar Waxwing as a kid and fell in love with the bird on his first bird outing.  My mother loves parrots and knows everything about them. But they are not birders.

Cedar Waxwings getting drunk from the dates on the palms at Agua Caliente Park

I'd go to parks and spot birds while trying to capture the moon rising above a mountain.  I couldn't ID the birds!  So I went online and googled the descriptions of these birds and found Kathie's blog.  She would electronically help me ID these birds even though we didn't know each other.  It wasn't until our friend Gaelyn said hey, "I know this blogger and she's coming back to Tucson.  You should get in touch with her."  Wait!?  Don't I know her? She's the bird expert! I was going to meet someone from blogger?  It made me uncomfortable.  So on our first meet at Agua Caliente, we both let our significant others know where we were.

Brown-crested Flycatcher on Ocotillo at Saguaro National Park

Then we met in person.  I could see right away that she was a different kind of birder.  One that was human and friendly. I also saw something in her that I hadn't seen in many people during my own travels....a curiosity.  Most people in my life are happy with the status quo and don't push the boundaries, but she was curious.  I've always been one to explore but again I would do it alone. Why should one investigate every little nook and cranny?  I was born wired for exploration.  She was the same.  What we didn't realize on this day was how much each of us would make an impact on the other's life.

That brim of the hat below is just an example of Ms. Brown's constant search for birds. At Agua Caliente park, I would discover how to live my life again.  It would change my world as we discovered hidden birds that I wouldn't normally see on my usual outings.  A Bewick's Wren.  A Green-tailed Towhee. And on and on. Without Kathie's help, I wouldn't have seen the birds or even known how to ID them.  We sat and chatted about EBIRD after our outing.   Turns out I knew nothing.  I still feel that way:) She put me on a path to help me focus and train my abilities for not only birds but other things as well.

So I began to EBIRD and I began to listen.  And I began to open my eyes.  Kathie became not only a friend but my mentor.  Then something else happened.  I started having a lot of fun again rediscovering Arizona with my new friend Kathie.  We traveled the state and explored so many new and old places together.  All of it fresh and exciting as when I first made my move to this state years ago.  My friends began to ask me what was going on in my life and why I was happy again.  Our spouses raised an eyebrow.  I had found my "football" buddy.  

I began reading and researching birds left and right.  And then I found I couldn't stop.  It was really interesting.  Kathie taught me more about Ebird and for the first time since my days studying Spanish, I found myself wishing I were back in college getting my degree in biology/ecology instead of teaching a foreign language.  I have had to do a lot of soul searching on this matter and have decided that I'll retire from teaching and begin my second career in ten years.  But interestingly enough, I now utilize my Spanish skills abroad to find birds.  Perhaps this was all meant to be. Either way, I'm happy with my daytime job and after school passion.  

Kathie is a lister.  She loves lists!  Start another count here.  Do another there.  Ugh!  Sometimes it drives me crazy BUT when she's not around........I find myself doing it automatically.  I am more cynical.  I am a chaser searching for lifebirds.  She is patient and takes her time.  Her good natured personality has taught me how to live a better life. Rid the negative and focus on the positive.  Working with the public for 18 years had tainted my views of the world.  But since I began birding with Kathie, I have found a way to forget my work and negative feelings.  It has become therapy for me.  I have also learned, because of her, how to rid myself of people who drain my energy with their negativity. Life is too short to be constantly listening to people's problems.....especially the ones who would prefer to dwell in that darkness.  She has become my zen master:)

But I am a bit adventurous.  There is no such thing as "can't".  "We will."  And together there have been many moments of triumph.  She had helped me find so many life birds in those first 6 months.  Then it was time for me to step up to the plate and return the favor. And when I could help her find lifebirds, I began to feel like a contributing part of the team.  Kathie will list wherever she is and will be completely happy finding the same birds.  I'm okay with that as long as there is a rare bird in the bunch.  With her listing abilities and my detective work, we make a great team today. 

It's hard not to get sucked up into the competitive side of birding.  I just like to bird and find lifebirds wherever.  But I will admit that I had become competitive over the summer.  Kathie brought me back to reality and now I'm back to just finding life birds again. The birding world can be a nasty one.  Some like to boast about their numbers and it honestly made me feel insignificant. I had forgotten the whole purpose behind birding....the journey. Kathie reminds me of this balance for it is all about the birds.  It really is.   There are success stories and of course, the nasty dippings(missing your target bird)!  And yet when I stepped back and asked Ms. Brown, "Do you realize how much we've done in one year together?"  We both smiled and are super proud of our work and accomplishments.  The breathtaking landscapes.  The owling in the star lit canyons.  Entering a mining town and searching for birds. And so on and so forth.  The journey has been an amazing one. 

I began blogging back in 2010 about this life journey.  Today I write for Las Aventuras and Birding is Fun!(thanks to Kathie).  I will forever be grateful to her for her friendship, teachings, patience, kindness and understanding.  In only one year, I have seen so many things because of her guidance.  I have 10000 birds to find.  Some we'll find together.  Others I will find alone.  But I will always have Kathie to thank.   We have some spectacular adventures planned for the upcoming year and into next.  Football season is here which means that while Kathie's hubby is watching the games, we get to go bird! And that's the only reason why I love football season:)  I know I don't say it often but thank you Kathie for your friendship.