Where do I begin? How does one deal with tragedy after extreme happiness? Most people prefer the company of others. I need space to breathe. And I did a lot of birding alone in nearby locations to pull myself together. It is my coping strategy for sad moments.
American Wigeons
It took me a couple weeks to process what had all happened. The wedding. And then the funeral. Why??!!!! She was so young!
If Aunt Deborah had stayed in Arizona and not come to Colorado for our wedding, would she still be alive today? My last words to her in Estes Park were, "I love you." I then gave her a big hug. When I did, I could see that she was very sick. She was frail and had lost a lot of weight over the past month. Whatever it was, it was much more serious than we had thought.
Lesser Scaup
It had been two months since we last saw her. She had been going to the doctors during that time to try and figure out what was going on with her health. At the time, she didn't know if she would make it to Colorado. But for Deborah, it wasn't a discussion. She'd be there. Period.
My mother-in-law and her sister Deborah. They were inseparable and always there for one another
In fact, she has ALWAYS been there for her family. When her 5 grandchildren's lives were in jeopardy, she, along with her sister, saved them from their "mother", Deborah's estranged daughter. As a single woman on a very tight budget, she raised FIVE kids with the help of her sister. When I first met her years ago, I had nothing but admiration for this incredible woman. She had a heart of gold. The best kind of person one could ever know.
Female American Wigeon
Deborah was a strong woman who survived an abusive husband. After she left him, she went back to school and got herself an education in the pharmaceutical world. When her now disgraced daughter began a life of prostitution, drugs and crime, both the sisters stepped in and took legal custody of the kids. It was a tough love with her grandchildren....but it was love. She sacrificed so much for them so that they could live a good life free from the troubles of her daughter's poor life decisions. There is no question about how much she loved her grandkids. She wouldn't say it out loud. She would blow it off and make a joke about it all with a couple foul words. But there wasn't anything funny about the sincerity and kindness of this woman. Actions definitely spoke louder than words with Aunt Deborah.
At at birthday party years ago, Deborah lights the candles for one of the many birthday parties.
Deborah was very humble and deflected any compliment a person would give her. Those who really knew her, saw her for who she really was. In the last couple years, Deborah began to live again and opened her heart up to another person. It took a long time but she really loved this guy and he loved her back. Of course, she wouldn't say it out loud, but we saw how happy she was. I mean really really happy. She started smiling again which was a shocking new facial feature for all of us:) I've known her for 11 years and the last two years were some of her best. To see her grin again made her family very happy. Everyone deserves this feeling, but not everyone is fortunate enough to experience it.
Reid park near my home
Going back to the Colorado situation. On their drive back to Arizona, Deborah began experiencing breathing issues. Once they arrived home that evening, her boyfriend forced her to go to the hospital where she stopped breathing. She was put on life support, but it was too late.
Gilded Flicker
Meanwhile, the rest of the family was trying to scramble back to Arizona from Colorado. As we drove down, we blew out our tire at 80 miles an hour! We were stranded near the New Mexico border for an evening, but we were happy that nothing worse had happened. Strangely, we spent the entire morning searching for a rare tire, not a bird, in the town of Trinidad. We were finally able to locate just one well used tire on that very stressful morning. It got us home but not in time to be by Deborah's side.
Agua Caliente Park
When we got to the house, there were relatives already there. At the Buddhist ceremony, we all joined together in a mass chant. The chants were loud, painful and fast. Over and over and over again. Louder and stronger it went as the Buddhist Sangha lead us through our pain. It was very healing as we all let out our inner emotion. I was so glad to be a part of my new family for this time period.
Mute Swan
Some pray. And others will chant. I tend to escape to the outdoors and quietly walk alone for times of reflection.
It's a complicated thing processing true happiness and then extreme sadness. But that's life, isn't it? It's the journey we all have to make.
In Scottsdale
During our wedding and during Deborah's farewell, I saw the beauty and power of nature around me. It speaks to me in ways I can't even explain. It's my church, my temple, my synagogue, and my mosque all in one. IT is my faith. The photo below was taken after the funeral on a private walk in Sierra Vista. I had a random thought of Bob Ross and Deborah together and laughed at that strange image.
near the San Pedro River, Sierra Vista
This post is dedicated to you Auntie Deborah. Your presence will be missed here. Do not worry about your grandchildren. They will be loved and well cared for. And you are loved Deborah more than you could ever know. I know I know. You hate compliments and would probably say something sassy back to us. But it's that sassy part we loved about you. It let us know that you loved us back. You will never be forgotten.
Here is a photo of Deborah's family. When I first met Micheal, they were all little kids. Today most of them have grown up and one is married! Her legacy will live on within each of these kids.
I'll be back soon blogger friends. It just has taken me time to get back on my feet and process everything that has happened. Writing is therapeutic for me and it helps me organize my thoughts. I'll be back soon with my upcoming projects for the final part of this year.
I found a magical fairy village in the middle of the woods!
August is a whole month of crazy. Monsoon is in full swing and so is migration. It's the one time of year when everything all comes together. But the temps are brutal in the desert and surrounding areas.
Enjoying the cool breeze of a monsoon storm in Sierra Vista along the San Pedro River
And it is during this time of year that I collect my data for migrating warblers, shorebirds and birds listed as endangered or in decline. Did they nest? Are there juveniles? Are there more or less of these birds coming through the area right now? After chasing life birds in Chiapas, I just felt I needed to connect more with "my birds" and do quality study.
The monsoon clouds build over Cochise Lake in Wilcox
While I love the grasslands, I'm not a huge fan of the chiggers and bugs. Right around the first couple weeks of August, we hit the peak season of monsoon. It's during this time of year we begin to see some early migrants passing through our area while also observing difficult birds, like the Cassin's Sparrow, out in the open doing their "larking display". There isn't a certain date for this peak. It's just something I feel out each year. Each weekend during the month of August, I carefully pick the spots to do my studies. In this post, we stopped at the Wilcox Lake for migrating shorebirds, Mt. Lemmon for warblers, St. David for nesting Yellow-billed Cuckoos, and my work site in Oro Valley(weekly patch study) for the nesting Purple Martins specific to our Sonoran Desert. It has been a quality month of research and birding. None of it is boring. The hikes are incredible and the treks are some of the most scenic on this planet.
Black-necked Stilts
We headed down to Wilcox and explored "Cochise Lake" first. We picked up two Stilt Sandpipers, one Semipalmated Plover and Sandpiper. While these birds were wonderful to spot, our best observation happened with a cranky Northern Mockingbird and Swainson's Hawk.
A Northern Mockingbird chases a Swainson's Hawk off the post. That takes some huevos.
After awhile, we headed out because it looked like it was going to rain in the area.
Black-tailed Jackalope Jackrabbit:)
I wanted to check up on our now fledged Mississippi Kites, Yellow-billed Cuckoos and Yellow-breasted Chats. Along the way, we observed lots of great birds around the countryside.
White-winged Dove perches on an Ocotillo
We'd stop and look and then move onto the next area.
A male Northern Cardinal sits on top of a Saguaro. Talk about a strange sight!
After a summer of chasing crazy new birds in Mexico, I
was happy to just stand in MY world with MY birds and let them fly
around me. I know this world best. Every habitat. And almost every
bird. It's great. They are my secrets. My escape. It is very comforting to know that many made it back in one piece.
Gila Woodpeckers are LOVING the sugar water right now. Sorry hummingbirds!
The Gila Woodpeckers fought the hummingbirds for nectar.
Spiders hid on leaves. And chats.....did a lot of chatting:)
Yellow-breasted Chat
I went to St. David and followed up on the Cuckoos and Kites.
A Yellow-billed Cuckoo flies over my head. I have a special connection with this bird as it followed me around last year in the trees:) And it was back again in the same area where we hung out for awhile watching each other.
Thankfully, they were all there safe and sound.
Here's my friend who is still around
Currently the western variety of the Yellow-billed Cuckoo is in danger. It is listed as threatened and near the threshold of endangered. Tucson Audubon currently has surveys going on around their nesting areas in Southern Arizona. They are collecting data about this declining species so that they can designate areas for their protection. "The loss and degradation of native riparian habitat throughout the western Yellow-billed Cuckoo's range has played a major role in the bird's decline"(source)
Back at my work site, I do a weekly survey of the birds found around the campus. The Purple Martins were concerning for me because they are clear cutting major areas of desert next to the school and wash. Normally, I see these birds before school is out but I hadn't seen them before summer break. However, I was SO happy when I discovered this desert subspecies flying around the Saguaro cactus at the start of our new school year.
I don't know how they did it with all the chaos around them but they raised another wonderful family. They had 3 young at the time but have now begun their migration. I hope they return next year. It's crazy how connected I have become with my local birds.
Black-crowned Night Heron
On a particularly hot day, I wanted to bird but not far from home. So I went to my other regular patch at a nearby park to count the juvenile Black-crowned Night Herons. The Herons have had a good year! 4 juveniles were seen on this 100+ degree evening.
The heat can be intense! Thankfully warbler migration begins on top of Mt. Lemmon in August and this is where I'll finish my reporting.
Townsend's Warbler
It was hot in Tucson at around 113 degrees. Mt. Lemmon was sunny with a slight breeze in the 80's. This was a no brainer.
On this beautiful day, we had 11 of the 13 warbler species on the mountain. The Wilson's, Townsend'ss and Hermit warblers were AMAZING! It was a successful outing indeed!
Wilson's Warbler
Warblers are pretty cool birds. Yes, they are difficult to see, but they are little gems that dance underneath the shadows of leaves.
Hermit Warbler in flight
Overall, it has been a great month out and the data collected was a success. I realize not all years will have such positive reports but this one was one of the best thanks to lots of wonderful rain.
Birding can be quite meaningful. With this collection of data, I become stronger and better at being not just a birder but a true citizen scientist.
Over the next two weeks, we'll meet new friends on the trails. Las Aventuras is about to begin Chapter 3 of "Americano". Stay tuned for more friends:)
A first time photo of a Ross's Goose at Las Aventuras. While I've seen this bird many times, I haven't been within photo range. Note smaller bill sans the "smile" of the similar looking Snow Goose
Days free are spent on the road before the sun rises. It's really one of the truly peaceful times before dawn breaks. No waiting, chasing, or wondering if that rare bird will show up. It's just getting there while listening to the radio with my hot cup of coffee. As the sun begins to rise, a man with his crazy obsession for birds begins yet another quest. How will this day shape up?
A ray of light shines hope on our search for the Brown Thrasher
Once I arrive, I scan the dark path ahead. It's enveloped by fog. Rabbits and mice scamper across the trails. No humans anywhere to be seen except near the entrance where old men have decided to meet for coffee. Warm mist rises from the waters. It's here I stand in the chilly air watching geese bathe. My first target bird(the Ross's Goose) is revealed. I snap my pics behind a bush as I watch this beautiful bird preen its feathers. Early morning is a precious and finite time period with birds. One can't spend too much time on one bird without risking the dreaded dip on other target birds! Birds will "park" themselves in one spot overnight before taking off the next day. I had to move quickly and find the elusive Brown Thrasher. Like most thrashers, they are much more visible and vocal during the earlier hours of day.
Gila Woodpecker
I stand with another birder as we wait.....and wait.....and wait for this bird. It's almost a requirement for this particular bird. Finally, the bird makes a brief appearance several times and then disappears for good. While not the best views I've had of a Brown Thrasher, I decide to move on. I am able to add it onto my Arizona list.
The San Pedro River flows!
Another trail. Another bird. This time, I went looking for a feral Ring-necked Pheasant. Birders suspect that someone released this bird within the city of Gilbert. For several weeks, this bird has done well in this human created riparian area. This is definitely not a common bird around Arizona except maybe along the agricultural fields of the Yuma/California border.
Anna's Hummingbird
Blackbirds have put on some amazing shows this past week. They always flock in great numbers. Sometimes a Cooper's Hawk chases them. Other times it's the Northern Harrier.
Mixed flock of Red-winged and Yellow-headed Blackbirds
Hundreds of years ago, people wrote about millions of birds clouding the skies for days! never allowing the sun a chance to shine on the people below. Can you imagine?
Yellow-headed Blackbirds at sunset
In Tucson, Yellow-headed Blackbirds will flock in the thousands. And there's nothing quite like getting caught up in the middle of their microburst.
Meanwhile, the photographer has to put his camera down for the moment or he fears the risk of losing that brief sighting of a rare bird. It can be a bit frustrating at times, but he knows that not every bird will pose nicely.
House Sparrow
Understanding the meaning behind "competitive" birding has been quite the learning experience. It's a huge commitment of time. Artist and photographer have to sometimes take a back seat. Home improvements are put on hold (some of the cleaning may not always get done). Money goes towards gas and travel instead of clothes and other fancy things. Evenings are spent planning. Mornings are early to rise.
Northern Flicker
But when December 31st arrives, this birder will wake up on January 1st a normal man again. Or so he says....:)
Neotropic Cormorant
So I chase the silly birds, the real birds(the ABA kinds) and everything else in between. If it has wings, it's game. And between breaks, I stop and take it all in. What an incredible journey!
Domestic variety of Muscovy Duck
So as the month of December continues and the birding gets extremely competitive, I remember several things to keep my sanity. It's all about the friendships, birds and experiences gained.
Huachuca Canyon
At one point this weekend, we couldn't bird anymore. The rain began to fall and I stood there smiling. Perfection. As the darkness takes over, I prepare to rise again. Each day with a new challenge. Each day a reminder that life is truly wonderful.
I've been into doing video clips while on my trips. Here's the latest creative endeavor from my phone. Music from the Mockingjay. The song is called, "The Hanging Tree." Until next time.....
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