Course Change

A Verdin nesting

There is no gain without risk.  While my post has birds, it isn't necessarily about birds. Some of the craziest things are happening in my life right now. I have opened myself up to possibilities again.  And change. While I won't go into the various projects for now, I'll just write that things have gotten interesting.

The Great Egret stalking a lizard in a local Tucson park.......after several minutes, the lizard became lunch

I had become so stuck in my routine that I forgot to look up and remember who I was.  After a particularly hard day at work, I went to go birding and clear my mind but instead I sat down on a park bench watching people pass me by.

A Jackrabbit at Saguaro National Park

I sat watching the sun sink behind the trees with an even greater sinking feeling inside. What am I doing with my life?  Is this what a midlife crisis is? Perhaps instead of a nice big car, I'm looking for something else.  Something more. This is where the wildlife has changed me.  I don't know what it is about this year, but I have found myself on every outing surrounded by wonderful animals and birds.  They don't mind that I am with them.  But the minute other people enter this sacred world of trust, the animals disappear.  They whip down the roads in their cars, speak loudly so that the whole world can hear their conversations and leave their garbage behind.  I found a plastic bottle wedged in the hole of tree.....home to so many nesting owls.

I drive my car onto strange roads.  Sometimes I am in the middle of nowhere without cell connection.  When I stand in these locations I think about how liberating it is.  About how this part of my life has opened my mind to the strange that is birding.  The closer I am to nature; the harder it is for me to understand these pack creatures known as humans.  I'm one of them.  I'm trying to help educate the young minds.  Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I don't.

The Red-tailed Hawk

I am at a crossroads in my life right now.  All of it good, but of course, it is a bit scary.  This idea of change.  Comfort is nice.  Having a home is nice.  Being with someone you love is awesome.  However, it creates a routine.  And I have found myself stuck in that routine for several years now. Oh change......how I despise you and love you at the same time!

The Pygmy Nuthatch on Mt. Lemmon

The older I get; the harder it becomes to take a risk.  So much to consider.  So much to keep in mind.

Olive Warbler on the Incinerator Ridge Trail of Mt. Lemmon

And yet while standing above it all, does any of it matter?

So as I sat on that bench contemplating my life, I sorted out some heavy thoughts.  I know what I have to do, and I've put myself out there to let it happen. And it feels good.

Night birding at Madera Canyon for the Whiskered Screech-Owl

Another epic trek is about to begin to take my mind off of things.