Friday, May 23, 2014

Course Change

A Verdin nesting

There is no gain without risk.  While my post has birds, it isn't necessarily about birds. Some of the craziest things are happening in my life right now. I have opened myself up to possibilities again.  And change. While I won't go into the various projects for now, I'll just write that things have gotten interesting.

The Great Egret stalking a lizard in a local Tucson park.......after several minutes, the lizard became lunch
I had become so stuck in my routine that I forgot to look up and remember who I was.  After a particularly hard day at work, I went to go birding and clear my mind but instead I sat down on a park bench watching people pass me by.

A Jackrabbit at Saguaro National Park

I sat watching the sun sink behind the trees with an even greater sinking feeling inside. What am I doing with my life?  Is this what a midlife crisis is? Perhaps instead of a nice big car, I'm looking for something else.  Something more. This is where the wildlife has changed me.  I don't know what it is about this year, but I have found myself on every outing surrounded by wonderful animals and birds.  They don't mind that I am with them.  But the minute other people enter this sacred world of trust, the animals disappear.  They whip down the roads in their cars, speak loudly so that the whole world can hear their conversations and leave their garbage behind.  I found a plastic bottle wedged in the hole of tree.....home to so many nesting owls.


I drive my car onto strange roads.  Sometimes I am in the middle of nowhere without cell connection.  When I stand in these locations I think about how liberating it is.  About how this part of my life has opened my mind to the strange that is birding.  The closer I am to nature; the harder it is for me to understand these pack creatures known as humans.  I'm one of them.  I'm trying to help educate the young minds.  Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I don't.

The Red-tailed Hawk
I am at a crossroads in my life right now.  All of it good, but of course, it is a bit scary.  This idea of change.  Comfort is nice.  Having a home is nice.  Being with someone you love is awesome.  However, it creates a routine.  And I have found myself stuck in that routine for several years now. Oh change......how I despise you and love you at the same time!

The Pygmy Nuthatch on Mt. Lemmon
The older I get; the harder it becomes to take a risk.  So much to consider.  So much to keep in mind.

Olive Warbler on the Incinerator Ridge Trail of Mt. Lemmon
And yet while standing above it all, does any of it matter?


So as I sat on that bench contemplating my life, I sorted out some heavy thoughts.  I know what I have to do, and I've put myself out there to let it happen. And it feels good.

Night birding at Madera Canyon for the Whiskered Screech-Owl
Another epic trek is about to begin to take my mind off of things.


15 comments:

  1. Surrounding myself with nature I feel so totally at peace, it really is an amazing feeling. When I look at photos such as these they are the next best thing. I sure wish people would not leave their trash behind in such places, and I wish you well in your new ventures.

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  2. Sometimes it's hard to make changes that seem so important. I understand. LOVE your photos! We saw a red-tailed hawk as we left Madera canyon and I didn't get a picture...yours is amazing! I am always inspired by you: your dedication, your commitment, your artistry....and the goodness I see in you through these posts. I look forward to revelations you choose to share in the near future. Take care....

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  3. Myślę, że masz wspaniałe i ciekawe życie i co chcesz w nim zmieniać. Od przyrody z pewnością nigdy nie odejdziesz. Pozdrawiam.
    I think you have a wonderful and interesting life and what you want it to change. From nature will never go away. Yours.

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  4. A beautiful and reflective post Chris. I wish you all the very best with your new ventures It sounds like an exciting time for you :) Enjoy your break and look forward to seeing the photos and reading of your adventures :)

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  5. dear Chris, thanks for sharing these personal thoughts. Becoming more sensitized to the needs of flora and fauna, also alienates me from lots of people and govt. policies. Good luck with getting out of your rut. You're an inspiration.

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  6. Stay safe and be happy Chris!!

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  7. Your posts are always thought-provoking, Chris. Life IS full of challenge and change, and I guess it's how we respond to them that makes our lives satisfying and us happy - good luck with your choices.

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  8. Follow your heart and good luck with whatever you choose. :o)

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  9. Change can be so liberating, it's what goes on in the natural world around us all the time. Look forward to hearing about this more.

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  10. I really do hope that you end up where you want/need to be in life Chris. As you say, the older one gets, the harder it is to make those changes, but I do think it becomes more important to do it nonetheless. Wherever you go, and however you do it, stay safe.

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  11. Chris, you seem to have a very interesting life.. But, I guess changes can make life even more interesting.. Great post and I love the photos.

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  12. Qué nido tan elaborado.. Muy bonitas imágenes de este bello lugar.. Un saludo desde Madrid..

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  13. Hello There, We just got home from a great week--which was a terrific 'healing' experience for me --as I recover from gallbladder surgery followed by that wicked infection... You'll have to check out my blog post today (if you haven't done so yet).

    Tell Michael that the laparoscopic gallbladder surgery is EASY. It's day surgery --and hopefully, he won't get an infection like I did. Good Luck to him.

    YES---there are tons of things to photograph out there in this world--including the birds.. I'll bet you do branch out some!!!!

    Happy Memorial Day to you and yours... Let's never forget those men and women (past and present) who were/are in the Armed Forces and have done so much to give us the FREEDOM we have today. God Bless ALL of them and God Bless the USA.

    Hugs,
    Betsy

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