A Little Spring Cleaning

Friend Khanh and Robert come to visit family.  Together we explore the beautiful Sabino Canyon

This time of year brings everyone together in the desert.  We are always in transit.  Well, I was always in transit never quite allowing myself to become stationary for too long.  These past several months have allowed me to enjoy wildlife watching with old and new friends alike. Observing their reactions through their eyes for the first time is exciting. 

Pyrrhuloxia

After everything that had happened last year with family and friends and my own health issues, I have found myself more comfortable being comfortable in my own shoes.  After shedding the last vestiges of negativity at my work, I have found joy again in my job.  I had to step away from it all to see clearly why a simple change was necessary for my sanity. Negative people try and pull you into their own misery and negative space. We don't get to choose who our co-workers are, but we can modify certain practices in our routine to avoid that negative contamination of the mind.

I finally made that change this year. Like buying a new car, my new room makes me happy each day I enter it. It's a magical space that's far away from the drama of others. After 20 years at the same job, it was time for a change in setting. Examine the pic above.  Travel and language are the centers of decor.  Birds decorate the walls.  Fresh flowers bring in the natural element.  Cats give it a whimsy.  The upside down umbrella is a message to all that EVERYONE is welcome in my room(leave the negativity at the door).  And the table is for playing cards after their work is done.  Bird cards are given at the table.  Lunch can also be eaten there.  Not featured is the tea and coffee pot to the side. Lighting is key, dim the lights to cut the bright harsh glare. Soft jazz or classical music plays in the background. A new teacher said it was like an apartment in my room.  It has a fridge and microwave. And a couch. Yes. It's a safe zone for kids to speak their minds.  I have found my center again in teaching.  This time around, I am very protective of who I allow into that bubble. I remember my days in my kindergarten classroom fondly. It was also an amazing classroom full of nooks and crannies. I've never forgotten how comfortable I felt as a student in that classroom. As another spring season arrives, I am thankful to be alive and appreciative for all that renews me. 

Nature is powerful.  Standing by a cold mountain stream in the canyon renews my faith in people. In a world full of toxicity, it is so vital to spend time with friends in these places and get through these terrible times. Like the classroom, nature can heal the mind and body. I love my fellow winter birding friends.  We spend a great day outdoors together.  Then share a meal later. That's what it's all about.  House chores can wait. 

Gambel's Quail

All the signs point towards spring.  A male Rufous-winged Sparrow sings in a tree.  Khanh follows the bird for a beautiful close up. 

Khanh photographs a singing male Rufous-winged Sparrow.  Listen to the bird's song in the video below.

Maybe it's weird.  But it's fun watching people observe our Arizona birds. 

I always have to remind them to look at their surroundings.  It's not every day you get to see the clouds meander in and out of the Catalina mountains. 

The beauty of the Santa Catalina mountain and our gorgeous Sonoran desert.  The large cactus is called a Saguaro.  The one in the middle is over a hundred years old. 

Or watch a beautiful White-throated Swift dive in and out of a canyon catching bugs.  

White-throated Swift

Or search for a Grasshopper Sparrow on an overcast day. 

I see these Snow Geese at a local park and wonder how long they'll stay.  I begin to see spring arrivals.  The temperatures warm up.  Gardens begin to awaken from their slumber.  

Snow Geese

 Birds like the Northern Cardinal begin to call in my neighborhood. 

From left to right.  Pine Siskin, Northern Cardinal, White-crowned Sparrow

 The muffled cries of "NO HOPE!" are heard inside nearby trees emanating from the secretive Inca Doves.

Inca Dove

 In Tucson, their numbers are few.  So when I get a glance of this species, I let my eyes linger a little longer. Everyone else around the state laughs at Tucson birders for getting excited over an Incan Dove.  But I think if they didn't have them at their feeders, they'd understand why we enjoy these birds so much.  They were once common here.  I remember having them at my feeders in the 90's.  They were even my favorite doves back when there were many!

Windows of time are all we really have anymore.  I watch the Sandhill Cranes for the last time during the winter season and think, "Wow.  Another winter has come and gone. Where has the time gone?"  

John photographs a couple thousand Sandhill Cranes

 I take a couple out to Sweetwater Wetlands who have seen Yellow-headed Blackbirds in small groups.  But they had never seen thousands of Yellow-headed Blackbirds flock together over our heads at sunset.  There's magic in this.  

Yellow-headed Blackbird

A yearly burn at the wetlands exposes a Black-crowned Night Heron having a "light" dinner.  Frog legs are on the menu. 

Black-crowned Night Heron

And on my way to work, I see a Turkey Vulture on a pole in my neighborhood.  This is a true sign that spring has arrived. Vultures, hawks and falcons are on the move north.  Turkey Vultures are not common in my neighborhood so I get excited seeing one up close. It's a bird both ugly and beautiful at the same time and a welcome visitor to the yard!

Turkey Vulture

Over the next several weeks, we go into full spring mode in Southeastern Arizona exploring hummingbirds, raising money for charity, investigating the Sedona area, and reporting on our annual Arizona birds and blooms.  As the year warms up, we'll be getting into some hotter locations including a trek to Mexico and Panama.  Until next time.....

Inside the Heart

Vermilian Flycatcher at Reid Park

On a different note this week, I wanted to explore the theme of love.  This post was actually organized last year after watching the movie, "Call Me By Your Name".  I was a mess.  Normally, movies don't affect me in such a way, but this one hit me hard.  I had forgotten that I have a heart:) I have spent hours analyzing the beauty and tragedy of that well executed movie.  It left me days thinking about life.  I let the feelings heal like a bandage over a wound.  Two weeks later, I ripped off the bandage once again and re-watched it all.  It was like finding a box of old love letters while cleaning the closet. 

In one moment of the movie, the young man asks himself, "Is it better to speak or die?" This of course refers to keeping his love hidden from the man he loves for his entire life or risk it all by telling him how he feels even though it could have negative consequences. "The Bridges of Madison County" has a similar feel. I remember in anticipation while reading that book, 'Would she leave her husband and open that car door for her lover?' I had never read a book that brought me to tears so quickly. But when I read that book, I was still much too young to understand the depth of her pain.

 It's painful to think of the past at times with each relationship/experience we've had. Each one teaching us something about ourselves. What happens when the most powerful love, the one that consumes your every thought, explodes and destroys that inner innocence?  How does one move forward and recover from that experience?  This line from the movie caught me off guard and for days, I sat repeating it over and over. "We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new.  But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything-what a waste!"  I think back on those two years where I hid inside my apartment and became a hermit.  I was never the same after that experience.  I chose to hide my pain.

After almost 2 decades have passed, I wonder where he is and what he is doing.  Or if he's even still alive. You never stop loving someone just because they are no longer in your life.  Then I was hit by this line from the movie, "And on that evening when we grow older still we'll speak about these two young men as though they were two strangers we met on the train and whom we admire and want to help along.  And we'll want to call it envy, because to call it regret would break our hearts." 

Eventually, we both came to recognize that we were poison to one another, but the kind Romeo and Juliet took at the end.  One of the saddest days of my life was saying good-bye.  One of the most difficult things to do was not answer the phone after I had started my life again.  It's interesting how quickly that pain resurfaced when his number showed up on my caller ID. "Most of us can't help but live as though we've got two lives to live, one is the mockup, the other the finished version, and then there are all those versions in between.  But there's only one, and before you know it, your heart is worn out, and, as for your body, there comes a point when no one looks at it, much less wants to come near it.  Right now there's sorrow.  I don't envy the pain.  But I envy you the pain." These lines!!! I'd pause the movie and think about them.

Perhaps the movie was a trigger to that deepest pain.  The what if?  The understanding of love and loss. The pain of growing older and the loss of my naivete. But knowing that if I loved someone so strongly, I would lose myself and never achieve my dreams. "Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the truth, maybe I didn't want things to turn abstract, but I felt I should say it, because this was the moment to say it, because it suddenly dawned on me that this was why I had come, to tell him 'You are the only person I'd like to say goodbye to when I die, because only then will this thing I call my life make any sense.  And if I should hear that you died, my life as I know it, the me who is speaking with you now, will cease to exist."

It was a dark chapter in my life.  I have met others who understand this pain and we have had "therapy" discussions about this destructive kind of love.  I understand passionate rage.  I understand why it makes the news.  Some of it is public and for someone like myself, is was quiet. Like the death of a loved one, it's not quite something you ever get over.  It's a scar that has mended but is still quite visible.

Oh, I am married now to someone who supports me, loves me and makes me a better me.  We make each other better.  I wouldn't be here today writing about birds or travel without his support. We've been together for 14 years.  We have a life together.  So after all these years, it was surprising for me that this quiet little movie would allow for all these emotions to resurface. It was just supposed to be a rental.  Turns out that it was beautiful poetry.  Has anything ever triggered you to recollect your past? A book? A movie?  A poem?  Or even a song?  I'll be back to the bird treks next week.  Until next time.....

Parts Unknown

These two Cactus Wrens gave me a good laugh at sunset. 

During these past few hot Arizona days, I've been walking around nearby parks and practicing with my light settings in the dark conditions to prepare for Trinidad.  This will be my final post from Tucson for awhile. 

Our monsoon may start early this year. 

As I walk the known, I prepare mentally for the unknown.  It is part of the life journey we all take.  Sometimes we do it alone.  Sometimes we share it. This is the way of all things. 

There are nights when I lose sleep because I am both excited and anxious.  Everything has been set up and yet still, I wonder, What am I forgetting? What's out there?!

Round-tailed Ground Squirrels live the life in this terrible heat

Would I ever have gone to Trinidad in my lifetime if it weren't for the birds?  Probably not. I am forever addicted to the Spanish and Portuguese speaking cultures. But if I am to find birds on this planet, I can't limit myself to what is comfortable. I am forced into parts unknown. Trinidad is close to Venezuela and is known as the gateway to the South American birding world while still maintaining a fantastic blend of Caribbean birds. The place I will be visiting, from my research, suggests that I'll be living the island culture similar to what I experienced when I lived on the islands of  Cape Verde, West Africa.  It is different. The words for the dances are different.  Instead of Praia's(Cape Verde) Funana, it will be the Trinidadian Calypso.  Instead of the secretive martial art dances of Capoeira, they practice a similar form known as Kalinda.  

Making my favorite meal.....Cachupa on the Cape Verdean island of Santiago

My experience on Cape Verde sheds a little insight on the cultural similarities where in history, island slave trade had happened. But Trinidad was also a huge trading center for many other things like spice. Today, Trinidad is truly a blend of so many different cultures weaved into one. While the days of old are gone, we can still find history hidden in the language spoken.  In Cape Verde, it's the Portuguese based kriolu. Not quite Portuguese at all.  And not a written language!

I was more teacher than birder during this time of my life.  I did look at birds and try to take pics of them with my terrible camera at the time:)  We still used FILM!!!

My very first chapters as a teacher began training students and teachers alike in language and language design for the classroom on the islands of Santiago and then later Sal. Now I will go to Trinidad, another island with similar histories. I'm always fascinated by what makes the culture different from other places I've been. I purposely rented an apartment for one week out of the nature area to study language, food and the people. It's more than just birds.  For me, it's also about the community that surrounds the birds. While English is spoken there, the familiar words are peppered with strange and new exotic ones.  An English based creole!

Black-crowned Night Heron

And here's the thing.  I can play it safe.  Or push myself to do better.  Be better.  This is the nature of birding.  It's a bittersweet emotion knowing that it may be the only time in this life of mine that I'll be visiting this island.  So I need to make it count. Rushing into an area to see the birds and then leave isn't fun at all.  I want the "cultural flavor" from the birding experience. 

An early and exciting Yellow-billed Cuckoo, a favorite bird of mine

I have my office space and desk.  I have my big meeting with the nature center getting all my birds set up.  It's a rather civilized approach to birding.  Meals are all prepared.  Transportation is there.  All I have to do is go outside my room and they take me away to the birding hotspots. It seriously is a great deal for birders.  Asa Wright can be a bit pricey but after the stress I had this year, I am treating myself to a birder's version of a "massage".  There's even tea time and some of this island adult flavored fruit punch:) So I'll be one week at Asa Wright and one week in Arima doing my cultural studies(and some light birding). 

I'll miss my girls.  Callie rests her head on my chest during the early morning hours.

This summer we'll be exploring island culture on Trinidad and Hawaii during the months of June and July.  I'll be meeting with people and their birds.  I have found that understanding culture is also key to the success of optimal birding.  Now, the birds are pushing me into unknown lands.

A Cassin's Kingbird at a local park

When we speak another language, whether it be bird, Spanish, Russian, Mandarin, etc, we have a deeper meaning of their behaviors and culture.  Something always gets lost in translation, but when I speak Spanish or Portuguese, it gives me a deeper insight into the culture.  But as the birds and non-latin countries go, I am forced to start all over again.  

During the day, I am bored and trapped inside my house waiting for the terrible heat to subside. Instead I clean and research for the trip. PS. Catnaps are sacred.

On my last days in Tucson, I walk the familiar parks saying good-bye to my birds and play with light settings for a cave journey I'll be making for the Oilbird colony at the Asa Wright Nature Center. At first birding is easy. Then one has to travel (and) it's still relatively easy if you go to new areas.  But the nature of birding gets trickier the longer we play the game.  The hard part is picking up the endemics(which there are several on Trinidad) 

The tables that changed my life forever.  A balmy fire fly lit night near the Pipevine Road at our stay introduces me to birders who share their excitement and discoveries with us. 

My life's journey is about understanding people, their culture and the birds surrounding it all. The picture above is an important one. I snapped the pic to remember the clarity of thought that happened in this moment during our Panama visit. 

A Snail Kite sits next to me near our bench at the Pipevine Road

7 years ago, this month, I began my serious journey into the birding world. I changed. This blog changed. The photography changed. I let most of my negative attachments go in this world. My job became my job. And the birding and human experiences became my passions.

I discover the dangers of birding and realize that I loved it. On Coiba Island

I watched two birders have a candle lit dinner at a table next to ours in that Panama Canal style home. It was that specific moment that changed the way I saw everything. After our stay in Gamboa, Panama, we went to Coiba Island and discovered manakins. And that's where the addiction began! I know that wherever I go, I will fall in love because there are birds. I am a gypsy at heart.  One who likes good mole, a smoke filled tapas bar, a nice spicy bowl of kakik, and/or a simple breakfast of gallo pinto.  Now the cuisine will change.  The languages will be difficult in both bird and human forms. And I will somehow figure it all out.  The Trinidad adventures begin next week.  This post is dedicated to the memory of Anthony Bourdain.  I recently watched his show on Trinidad to give me a little background on Trinidadian cuisine and culture. He will be missed. 

Crafty Playmaker

The rare Flame-colored Tanager

I have realized that I cannot bird 24/7.  I have thought about cloning myself but I don't know how to do it. Yet.  With final exams, visitors from others states, and other demands, I find myself often exhausted. But it's a good exhaustion. April and May bring in the best birds, but they are also some of the busiest for me. Most of the time, I do a good job making people believe I don't have a job.  But then April comes and the truth is revealed. But. And. But. And. But......yes, my writing in May takes a hit:)

Luckily, much of our "tah-dahs!" in Arizona revolve around outdoor activities.  So when visitors come, I carefully schedule beautiful hikes and visits to some of our most incredible places.  Take for example Ramsey Canyon(above).  A Flame-colored Tanager was hanging out there, and what a coincidence!  So were we:)

Hammond's Flycatcher

Tucson isn't hot or cold right now.  It's juuuuuuuuuust right!  So I like to take my teaching outdoors.  On this day, we had a fun break from grammar lessons and celebrated Guacamole Day!  

While the kids were having fun, I was also monitoring our nesting Great Horned Owls.  

Great Horned Owlet

 Or were they monitoring us? Perhaps they had a taste for avocado?:)  Either way, the parents and their owlets were in good shape. This year they had 3 healthy owlets!

Meanwhile, the students finished up their guac and began tasting each other's work.  While we were sitting down at the picnic tables, I had them move back a little from an area I was staging. Then I taught them how to "bird whisper" with a few crunchy tortilla strips.  "Profe, there are no birds here!"  I responded, "They are all around us watching." A few moments of silence and some crunchy tortilla bits did the trick. A massive flock of sparrows, doves and other birds flew onto the scene. "No way!!!" Maybe I'll get one of them addicted to this birding passion besides learning Spanish:)  Or better yet, they become a Spanish speaking Ornithologist!  I can dream, can't I?

Spotted Towhee

Over the weeks, a rare Caspian Tern would show up as would many other beautiful and wondrous birds. 

My Dad would visit.  And as a transition between work and his visit, I would bird for 20 or 30 minutes quietly each day. I am overwhelmed by people's conversations non-stop all day.  So it's important that I shut down away from people for just a few hours each day.  Birding allows me this opportunity. I observed Common Poorwills and Lesser Nighthawks feeding at sunset.  

Gadwall

While the locations weren't exotic, I didn't care.  I just needed to connect with the outdoors alone.  People make time to exercise or go to church or whatever.  I make time for nature.  Without it, I would go stir crazy. 

Black-crowned Night Heron

We had a great time.  My Dad saw lots of wonderful places.  And he got to meet some great people like Anne and Christopher Lucic of Oracle.

Anne proudly stands next to her hubby Chris.  They both are artists who live in Oracle and the sculpture behind them is his work!  The Oracle Sailcart

They invited us to explore Oracle State Park and the ranch house.  What an amazing morning out! I discovered where the Western Scrub-Jays hang out on Mt. Lemmon:) I fell in love with the artsy little town of Oracle.  Thanks Anne for the wonderful tour!

Now it's off to explore again.  It's time to find more life birds.  An epic journey is about to take place.  After finals are over, it'll be time to fly again!

Until next time friends......