Con Ti Partiro

Open the door Chris.  Step outside.  Breathe. Think. What do we do now?  I get into my car and drive.  

White-nosed Coati

The world seems to stretch on forever.  My eyes strain to see what is on the far horizon. 

Golden-crowned Kinglet

When will it end? How could I be so callous? How could I ever think such things? She has trusted us to be there and protect her. Throw yourself into your work.  Find birds. Don't think about it. 

Somewhere in between, my eyes get all blurry. A pause in life. Between the trails and work space, she brightened our day with purrs and cuddles. She helped us cook dinner.  She waited by the door when we got home. And she always reminded us when it was time for a little snack. 

Brown Creeper

It's the present that keeps me at bay.  It's the heart that takes over and the end that I must face. But I don't want to. It isn't fair. 

Bushtit

No amount of love, kisses or hugs can stop the inevitable outcome. What can we do to stop her painful cries?  Either way, we lose what is most precious to us.  Prolong her suffering? Or humanely end it? 

Cassin's Finch

I can't sleep.  And at the same time, I don't want to get up. Sometimes I pray that she has passed in her sleep so that she won't suffer anymore. She can't breath.  Every moment causes her physical pain.  She doesn't eat.  And her golden eyes lock with mine. Please don't leave us.  Please stay forever.  

Vermilion Flycatcher

Our memories begin to flash back over her life as we wait in the doctor's office with her.  How did we get here?  We did everything right.  And still, here we are. 

She is,for us, the purest form of love and trust that we have experienced as a family.

No amount of birding can fill up this void in my heart.  We said our goodbyes.  The worst word in this world.  But we were there with her as we said our final words. 

It is said that if a goodbye hurts, it is because we loved a lot, and that it is a price worth paying. 

We will always love you Cassie.  You made our lives so much richer for being here.