Half A Life; Half The Credit

 

The world is a crazy place right now. It seems to test us more as we close in on the final stretches of the pandemic. And each of us struggles in our own way to try and figure it all out.  While there is hope, there is also much frustration. 

Over the past several weeks, I just gave up writing.  There has been so much happening.  We lost 2 of our older cats to something that resembled feline covid but gained two new members and were able to save our other 2 older girls. We can't shake that we somehow failed to protect them.  Even with 3 vets looking into it all; we were left with no answers. There are often moments of joy with the younger ones dotted by moments of sadness. 

Then there is work.  I don't know what happened to this semester.  It all seems so surreal.  Teachers are being forced to give students half credit for doing nothing.  There is no accountability at all and it goes against every moral fiber of our being. They ask, "How are you?" But they don't mean it. It's just a check on their list that their bosses told them to do. We see through it all. I am an understanding and patient man but to give basically free points to students/parents who abuse the system with unexcused absences? It truly is a lost year. I am not happy about giving free points to those who do not work for them.  Even with a pandemic, there are rules that need to be followed. Leadership on every level in this country has failed the American public. 

Then there is the birding.  I have been reduced to part time birder.  My heart doesn't seem to be into much of it anymore.  Rare birds aren't rare anymore.  I see people's excitement and I don't feel their joy. That scares me a lot. The weirdest part? I have found joy in watching the simple House Finch come to my feeders.  Or watch the Yellow-rumped Warbler feed from my oranges and suet.  I began this blog gardening and then became a birder.  I now find myself turning back into the gardener!  I hope this will pass. My friends tell me that this is common.  Sometimes you have to take a break. I still love my birds, but I have found other interests again.  The silver lining of covid.  Home projects are taking hold of me!  Birding money is spent into home design and art. 

I have been enjoying the work done on the coastal room. We put new furniture together and opened up the space a lot.  I've purchased paint and new light fixtures and have gotten into the art of remodeling. Our next project happens in several months.  It's all set to go.  In February, the coastal bathroom becomes a reality.  

With everything happening at home, like the roof being redone, landscaping...removing of a tree and pruning, etc, I haven't been able to bird like a normal human.  I'd say that I've gotten maybe 3 days to bird all day long.  And it's not even really about birding so much as it is about just taking a walk outdoors. 

I was finally able to do some birding with Gordon who I haven't seen since March!!!  We drove to this area just to check out things.  The best part of that day was catching up with him.  I miss hanging out with him.  Another day, I drove to a far away place to look at a beautiful Field Sparrow.  It was cloudy cool and quiet.  It was what I needed.  

I am going through something.  It's not good or bad.  Not even sure if it's really depression, but I just want to be alone working on personal projects away from everything.  I am emotionally exhausted.  Another road trip is in the works.  I was even thinking about going to Panama City, Panama because I have free flight mileage but covid is raging again and I am so near getting the vaccine. It's too risky.  I don't want to lose my airline points because of a cancellation, etc. 

Teachers in Arizona are set to be one of the first groups to get the vaccinations in the beginning of January. So that means I'll probably take the USS Betty White up along the coast to be near the ocean again to get some fresh air. And play it safe. It would also be nice avoiding getting covid a second time:)  

Right now, the USS Betty White is being serviced for a long range trek.  After that is done, I have to get new tires on the vehicle. In the above pic, a local Javelina eats pecans around my vehicle, the USS Betty White. 

For now, we all sit in a holding pattern.  We wait.  And wait.  A year lost?  Or a year full of new appreciation and perspective?  It will take awhile but at least the vaccinations have begun.  My last blog for the year will be the highlights of 2020.  There were some:)

I sit with my cats now in the catio having coffee with them watching birds and bugs. It's kind of my favorite part of the day.  

The year 2021 is beginning to shape up.  I am hopeful.  It could be the renaissance we have all been waiting for.  And one that we'll never take for granted again. Until next time......