Thursday, November 12, 2015

A Perfect Moment

This post (and an upcoming one) have been difficult for me to write. I'll do my best to try and capture my thoughts with the words behind those special and very sad moments. The write today was inspired by the healing power of nature and family.  I guess after many years of silence, it's time that this tale was told. I'd like to share with you all a story about a kid I once knew.  Like most people I know, he has changed over time.



As a boy, he grew up wondering what the world was like outside of his small town.  He had BIG ideas about what he'd do with his life. Maybe he'd become a teacher?  A park ranger? Or a weather man! 


As he grew older in that small town, he became aware that he was different from other people.  Much of his thoughts were kept hidden and secret because he didn't want to be hurt by others. And even though he tried to avoid confrontation, he was spit on, laughed at, and beat up several times for being different.  Unfortunately, he'd take his anger out on his siblings. His parents didn't know how to speak to him because he shut them out. There was no one he could turn to for help because they would all try to fix him with their religion. And he didn't need fixing. The science fiction show known as Star Trek was his escape. He eventually left his small town and pursued his dreams. It was safer that way. Over time, he developed a tough skin.  And there was a growing anger towards people and organizations who supported hate and ignorance. After living a life in hiding, it was time to fight back with words and actions. There was no turning back.



He went on to live an amazing life. Free from the trappings of a small community, he was able to form his own opinions and attitudes about the world. He got a job at a place where he could make a difference. Or at least challenge their thinking about the bigger world.  And maybe make them laugh or smile once and awhile. But it was always a safe zone. He also became a secret guardian for all those who were different. And he watched over them making sure that they wouldn't be bullied or hurt like he had been during his childhood. Sometimes he made a difference. And other times, he would lose one of his students to drugs or suicide.  These events hurt him the most because he felt that he had somehow failed them. With age and experience, the man realized he couldn't save every student. And over time, societal attitudes began to change and his important role was no longer as important. 



In his personal life, he met someone and settled down. Over the passage of time, he watched each of his siblings get married. He was so happy for them. And even though he was the oldest and had been in a relationship for a decade, it didn't matter.  He couldn't get married. But then things changed.


His partner wanted an official ceremony. So after much thought, it was decided that their union would happen outdoors and surrounded by family.  At first it was going to be somewhere far far away.  But when he thought it over more, it made him sad to think that his parents could not attend. Therefore, it had to be closer to home. What did both of these people want more than anything else in the world?  Their families present.  And so began the plan to unite nature and family together.


The families arrived from different states and rented cabins where they all spent a week together away from WIFI and work.  It was a rare event and not something experienced since the man's youth.


On the day of the wedding, it began to snow.  There they stood, married by the man's brother-in-law and surrounded by his entire family.  In a moment shared with his wonderful friend, they watched an elk dance in the freshly falling snow.  It was the most perfect moment.  A tear rolled down his face.  This was the spot. There the elk, family and birds watched as the couple made their vows. Instead of rice or bird seed being thrown up into the air, Mother Nature provided the crowd with snowballs.


Normally this man cringed at the idea of showing any emotion, but during the ceremony, he felt so happy. And loved. It was like a warm blanket on a cold winter day. A perfect moment.


People told him that getting married was a life changing event.  He just didn't want to believe it.  Maybe it was his defense mechanism that he developed as a child to protect himself from getting hurt by others. For whatever the reason, he was so happily wrong about it all. He felt whole again. No one could have planned for this magical ceremony. The snow. The elk. His father muttered, "An act of God."  The man simply replied, "Mother Nature." The two would never openly agree with each other on the matter but in their minds, they knew that they were both correct. Others froze their toes off and said, "Brrrrrrr."


Life is full of surprises.  And this world is still an amazing place.  AND BIG!  But none of it compares to the great big love of my family and friends. I'd like to thank my parents for being outstanding people. I don't know where I would be today without their love and support. To my siblings and their spouses, my nephews and nieces, to Charlee, to Mat and Linda for putting together a special ceremony, to Mitch and Rachel, to Kathy and to Deborah. Your last days with us will not be forgotten. I'll be writing about her in the next post. It was an emotional roller coaster ride for all of us. I'd also like to thank Kathie Brown for being with me during this special time. I now understand the meaning behind the "Maid of Honor" or "Best Man".  She is an amazing friend and I am so thankful she was there to help me process my emotions. While we were out on the trails, I realized how much I missed birding with her. Sometimes we "disappeared" together onto the trails to sneak in some birding time. Behind every new bird or critter or landscape, there is a heart that beats behind this experience called life. And it is good. 

28 comments:

  1. Beautiful. Thanks for sharing so much of yourself.

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  2. Honored to be there. Honored to be your friend and Best (wo)Man!

    It was a very special day
    when the elk came out to play
    and dance in the snow just for you!

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    1. I was so thrilled you came! I think the Elk was happy it was snowing. Just like the kids liked throwing the snowballs at each other:)

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  3. Bless Nature to be such a healer and bless Love to be such a reality!
    Thanks for the emotional sharing.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words! My thoughts go out to France tonight. What a terrible and sad tragedy:( it breaks my heart. I've been watching the news and am in shock.

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    2. Thank you Chris. It will be a long time till recovery, memories will always stay in mind. Nature and word are part of this recovery but it won't be enough. Sharing together thoughts and healing together through kind actions and talks are now more than ever a must.

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  4. Thanks for sharing and being so honest about your life. I would love to see a shot of the happy couple on that day. It certainly was a mgical day with everything just falling into place. Great that Kathie could be there for you.

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    1. Thanks Margaret! Nature is a very spiritual and powerful force! It was great hanging out with her again. It as like old times. To think that we first met on our blogs!

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  5. So beautifully stated, Chis! I wish you both all the best for the future - may your lives be filled with happiness and the wonders of nature never cease to amaze you - - - Richard

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  6. Thank YOU Chris, this made me very happy, I wish you many happy years together. I was thrilled to read Kathy was your best (wo) man, I know from reading your blog for quite a while now :) how much you hold her in high regard. This is possibly the best 'feel good' story I've read today!

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    1. Thank you!!! It's so crazy. We've been together for 11 years now and I thought a wedding wouldn't change things but it has "sealed" the deal on our commitment:) I don't know.....he's been eyeing up my life insurance plan. Should I be nervous?:)

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  7. Made me cry... Chris, this may be one of the best blog posts I have EVER read. Thanks so much for sharing your deepest thoughts... I cannot express how very happy I am for you.. Your ceremony with family/friends and yes, the wildlife, couldn't have been any better...And I'm sure that many birds were there watching you too.

    I will never 'push' religion on you, and I do understand your feelings ---but as a Christian whose God is a loving God who loves ALL of us, I know that God was there with you and Michael --and that it's much much more than just NATURE. I would never have met George IF there wasn't something MUCH bigger than us there guiding the way... I hope you know that it's PEOPLE who are making the rules and who are judgmental ---and NOT God (or a 'higher power')... In my heart, I know that 'my' God was there leading the way and making all of this possible for you and Michael. Well---just my thoughts ---and even though you have to believe what you believe, I hope and yes, I pray that someday you will know the God I know and will understand that God does LOVE you. (I'll have to share the story of one of my best friends in the '80's --who was 'in the closet' and really struggling. That wonderful young man died of AIDS.)

    Hugs,
    Betsy

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    1. The past was such a difficult time. For all of us I think! But the hardest part was being a young teenager watching the AIDS epidemic take out so many people. Society has certainly changed and I am glad for it in some ways. I could do without the suburbs:) if I had to put my finger on my spirituality, it probably would be Buddhism. At the core of it all, I believe in kharma. Positive energy out with positive energy back. Over time I have learned to look at a person as an individual. A person who loves, no matter their faith, is a person I can call a friend. My parents are devote Catholics and we've grown over time understanding one another as adults with different opinions. And I know that they say the things they do, even if it's insane:), because they love me. And vice versa. I gotta say that blogging can be difficult if you write from your heart. It's a bit scary:) thank you for your friendship over the years. You are one of the most positive people I have "met" in the blogosphere and it means a lot to me. Love and hugs back at you:)

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  8. A very moving post Chris - so pleased you were able to share your day with family and friends and that nature helped to make it all so perfect. Wonderful too that your dear friend Kathie was your best (wo) man.

    I wish you both so much happiness together and that you continue to enjoy the natural world all around you.

    Thanks so much for sharing your special day and your beautiful photos :)

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    1. Thank you for the well wishes! One day we will meet and have tea with some carrot cake (or other fine pastry:) while taking a stroll in one of those beautiful preserves looking for birds and butterflies!

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  9. While I may not agree with your life style I am happy that you feel at peace with yourself and had such a special moment with family & friends and nature. You see not everyone is a "hater" - We can disagree and yet be happy for others.

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    1. No haters:) agreed. There's no place for people with a dark cloud around their hearts. I let them go years ago:) life is too short to be angry. As for lifestyle , I would say I'm more of a traveler at heart. As a younger person dealing with so many things, I really wished, at the time, I could have chosen the easier route like most people. But I am so glad that I stayed true to myself.

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    2. PS. It's not a lifestyle. This is my life.

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  10. Chris, so beautiful and heartfelt. A tear runs down my cheek, both for the sadness of a little boy considered 'different' and the man who found love.

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  11. A wonderful post. Have a wonderful future!

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  12. A beautiful way to express your special day. Congratulations and may all your days be as happy as this one.

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  13. Congrats Chris. Only you might come up with that wedding plan. May your marriage be filled with love and nature for ever.

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  14. I've been wondering when you'd post about your wedding. Congratulations! So glad that you had everyone there. A magical moment for sure. Telling everyone that this is the person you stand with no matter what happens in life is momentous. Many happy years for you both! I know you're grieving right now too, but you can be happy for your path in life at the same time. (Hug)

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  15. This is a great story, Chris. Thank you for posting it. Congrats on your marriage and I'm so happy it has made your life all the richer.

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Thanks for stopping by!